Seasons of Love
by Bohemian Anne
Summary: After learning that she is pregnant with Jack's child, Rose marries a near stranger.
1. The Wedding 1

Chapter One

"Spoiled goods," spat Cal. He took another swig of the drink he clutched in his hand.

"I cannot, will not marry her, Ruth. No. She is wild, willful, and has no respect for me as a gentleman or a fiancé. I am sorry, Ruth, but the engagement is over."

"But Mr. Hockley," Ruth pleaded. "You cannot leave us, my daughter, in this predicament."

"Why not?" Cal snorted callously. "As I said, Ruth, the baby is not mine and your daughter has no respect for me. She ran all over that damned ship with a third class passenger and got herself into trouble. I will not bail you out this time."

"Mr. Hockley, Cal, please reconsider. There will be rumors, questions asked about Rose's condition, and the reason behind the engagement ending." Her voice trailed off as she realized what she was doing. She was begging.

"I will arrange for my secretary to put the appropriate announcements in the paper. Don't worry, all will be proper and no one will get the truth from me. Rose and yourself may keep the clothes, trinkets, and pieces I purchased, all except for the engagement ring, which I would like returned to me, and Le Coeur de la Mer, which I already have. I think that is more than generous. As to what you do about the other matter, that is no concern of mine. I will not call to this house anymore, Ruth, and I do not expect either Rose or yourself to call on me, although we may acknowledge each other civilly if we meet on social occasions."

_There ends my engagement to Caledon Hockley, Pittsburgh steel tycoon_, I thought bitterly as I sat at the bottom of the stairs, listening to my mother plead for Cal's money. I had heard enough and went back to my room.

I remembered very little of the days that followed the sinking of the Titanic. Maybe I didn't want to remember the terrible pain of losing Jack, the freezing cold that tore into my soul and the weeping and wailing of the grieving women who cried all day and rocked themselves to sleep at night. They looked at me with envious eyes. Her fiancé had survived. How little they knew that I would have gladly traded places with them and been able to mourn Jack properly.

Mother had been given a room for us when I was identified, shivering under a blanket and unable to speak to anyone. I locked myself away within myself, grieving, not speaking, not eating, and not caring. Mother was beside herself with worry, although the doctor assured her it was just shock. Even Cal, still wearing his torn suit, visited twice, hovering round the door as though afraid to enter. He asked if I was all right, and was there anything I needed? I surprised by his visit and his voice, soft as though speaking to a child. But I wanted nothing from him, and he left both times without protest. I wanted to hate him, for all he had done to me, for framing Jack and trying to kill us. But that seemed irrelevant now. So many people had lost a loved one, Jack was gone, and all my past life was surely gone, too. I suspected that the times Mother left the cabin, she had gone to speak to Cal. But I didn't care anymore. Jack was gone and there seemed no meaning to life. The plans we had made, the dreams I had forged over those few happy days, had gone. Jack's name or the events on Titanic were never mentioned out loud, and I almost began to wonder if I had dreamt it all.

When the Carpathia docked, we were hurried away to the waiting car and taken straight home to Philadelphia. What was said in the car, I cannot recall. I vaguely remember the staff lined up on our arrival to greet us. But they had lost one of their own, Trudy, and I ran past them and went to my room.

I was in for a bigger shock in the next few days.

Mother came to my room and announced that the wedding had been postponed for a few months, as it was the decent thing to do in light of the tragedy. I was stunned. The last thing I had thought of was that the wedding would still be taking place, the engagement was still on, and Cal actually wanted to marry me. I must have mumbled something about the wedding being off, but Mother was quite firm. She had spoken to Cal and assured him how sorry I was and that the sinking had brought me to my senses.

I remember telling Mother that I did not want to marry Cal. She was furious, telling me I should be grateful that he would still want me after my disgraceful behavior. Then, for the first time, she referred to Jack.

"I have no idea what you were thinking of, Rose, running around with that boy. This is what all this is about, isn't it? The doctor says you have shock. It is more to do with Jack Dawson."

I looked away, unable to meet her eyes. Jack was in my every waking moment. But I would not tell her so.

"You are foolish, Rose. But at least he is no longer in the way."

The reminder was like a slap in my face.

I only saw Cal twice in the next few weeks. He came for dinner and was very polite, but kept his distance, as though afraid to touch me or show any affection. This didn't matter to me. He went away to the inquest into the sinking.

I wasn't getting any better. I wouldn't eat until I made myself ill. Mother in desperation, we have to get you right for the wedding, called in another doctor to examine me and no doubt prescribe a magic tonic that would make everything all right.

No one told me what he found at first. He told Mother that I was two months pregnant.

She went straight over to see Cal, who had returned. The wedding had to be brought forward. There was much to do if this unfortunate situation was to be resolved.

However, Caledon Hockley's response was not what she wanted to hear.

"The child is not mine, Ruth. I have not been near your daughter."

Ruth sat stiffly on the sofa, clutching her cup of tea. She watched Cal as he leaned on the fireplace, becoming increasingly annoyed that he was trying to get out of his responsibilities.

"Mr. Hockley, you are her fiancé. Please do not try to deny this."

Cal rubbed his forehead.

"Two months, you say? Then I tell you, Ruth, this child is not mine. I suggest you lay the blame elsewhere."

"What are you trying to say?" She paused briefly and put a gloved hand to her mouth. "You cannot possibly mean…"

"I mean exactly that, Ruth. A third class passenger is where exactly I would lay the blame."


	2. The Wedding 2

Chapter Two

Mother was crying with anger when she told me the truth. For the first time since the sinking, my heart soared. I was pregnant with Jack's child, and through the baby, Jack would live on. I had a reason to live. There was a purpose to my life. My mother ranted on, while my head filled with images of how happy my child and I would be. How foolish that was. Reality soon followed.

"You stupid girl!" shouted Mother. "What do you think will happen now? Do you think Cal will marry you? Do you think you can keep the child and we can all play happy families?"

Then I realized she was right. What would happen to the child and me now? Mother made it clear an unmarried mother was not welcome in this house.

I was afraid then. There was nowhere I could go, no one I could turn to. I would be helpless, alone. The nightmares I had when I finally fell asleep now got worse. Not only did I lose Jack, I also lost our child.

The following day, Cal came to see Mother and that chapter of my life ended.

Mother invited Father Macintyre over for tea. He was a family friend as well as a priest, and I guess he was now the only one Mother could turn to. Over a cup of tea and a slice of cake, she tearfully told him of how I had gotten myself into trouble and Cal had called the engagement off.

Father Macintyre listened carefully and patted Mother's arm.

"Dear, oh dear Ruth. The problems our children can cause us!" He smiled reassuringly as Ruth patted her eyes with a handkerchief.

"I have known Rose since she was a babe herself. But Ruth, have a little faith. Rose is not the first girl to get herself into this sort of trouble and I may be able to help."

"You can?" Ruth stopped sniffing and put her handkerchief down.

"We have a few choices. Firstly, she could go away for seven or eight months on an extended holiday. With the trauma of the sinking and the breaking of her engagement, a long break may just be the thing she needs, if you follow me. Or there is another way. There are men out there who have suffered the terrible loss of their wives and are struggling alone with no one to care for their children or keep the house. These men are in need of another wife but are often unable or too busy to find one. They turn to the church for help and are often generous."

"But of what position are these men?"

"My dear Ruth, be assured that only someone of a…how should I say…better status be suitable for our Rose."

"How soon can you find someone?"

"Leave it with me Ruth. I have someone in mind. I just have to make a few inquiries."

True his word, Father Macintyre came back to see Mother two days later.

"I have two candidates, a Matthew Moore and an Andrew Calvert. Matthew is the more local of the two, and I have taken the liberty of inviting him over tomorrow at two."

"So soon?" asked Ruth, surprised.

"We have to get moving with this one, Ruth. We do not have much time. Please have Rose join us. You can explain to her what this is about."

I was incensed.

"Marry someone I don't know!" I exploded. "As if matching me off to Cal wasn't bad enough!"

"What are the choices, Rose? You are pregnant; you are seventeen. If you were to marry, your child would have a name and you would have a ring on your finger. There is no shame and no humiliation."

"I will not do it."

"What are you going to do then, Rose? Do you want to go to St. Claire's and have the baby in secret?"

"It is a preferable option to marrying a complete stranger."

"Just meet the man and give him a chance. You may actually like him."

But I was almost determined to hate Matthew Moore before I had even met him. He was led into the parlor by Father Macintyre and introduced. He was a small man, in his late twenties, early thirties, with short ginger hair. He politely shook my hand and took his seat. I decided he looked like a weasel, not to be trusted, and I certainly didn't want anything to do with him.

I listened to the absurdities of the conversation with increasing annoyance.

"Well, Rose, is there anything you would like to ask Matthew?" Father Macintyre asked.

I stared sulkily ahead and said nothing.

Mother, sensing my rudeness, turned to Matthew and asked him to tell something about himself.

"Well, Ma'am, I am twenty-five. I have three children, Mark and Timothy and little Katy, and my Agnes has been gone these last five months."

"Mr. Moore, your wife has been dead but five months and you want a new wife?" I asked incredulously. It was the first thing that came to mind, and I was determined to prove that I would not be suitable. There were embarrassed looks between all of them. Matthew Moore squirmed in his seat, and Mother looked as though she would faint.

"Rose, go to your room now," she said quietly.

"With pleasure." I smiled and left the room, confident I had scared Matthew Moore away, as was my plan.

The plan worked. Matthew Moore explained nervously that he was looking for someone more quiet and obedient and I would not do. Hurriedly he left.

Mother and Father Macintyre both agreed that avoid any further problems, Mother and I would go to Andrew Calvert's to meet him and Father Macintyre asked that Mother try and talk some sense into me.

"Rose, how dare you behave like that to guest in this house?"

"Oh, Mother, don't go on. He wasn't a guest. This was like some dreadful horse show and I was on parade."

Ruth snapped and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"You stupid girl. You risked everything we had for a few moments with steerage garbage."

"I loved Jack. We were going to leave together when the Titanic docked."

For the first time, I mentioned our plans. I thought Mother would realize that we were serious. But she laughed at me.

"I am sure you were. You are stupid, Rose. You lose your head to a boy you have known for two days. Do you really think you would have left together when Titanic docked? Do you think you could have left all this for a seedy apartment in the dirty end of town? Do you really think he would have wanted you after he had his way with you? If you think that, you really are stupid."

"Jack loved me." I began to sob.

"Did he, Rose? Did he ever tell you that?"

My eyes locked with Mother's, and in those few seconds, Mother knew the one thing that haunted me. Jack Dawson had not told me he loved me.

"Do you want to keep this child, Rose?" she asked.

"Yes, more than anything," I whispered.

"If you go to St. Claire's, you will not be allowed to keep the baby. After it is born, it will be handed over to new parents and you will return here. If you want to keep the baby, the only way is to marry Andrew Calvert. He knows about your condition and is prepared to accept the child as his own. The choice is yours, Rose. You have to decide what you want to do."


	3. The Wedding 3

Chapter Three

The three-hour train journey seemed endless. Mother and Father Macintyre whispered amongst themselves. I shut my ears and stroked my stomach. Jack's child was there and I knew I could never and would never let go of him or her.

I wanted this child to know how handsome and how talented its father was. How brave he was to save my life. If I were to hand the baby over to complete strangers, it would never know this. I couldn't bear the thought that the child would grow up thinking that its mother didn't love it and didn't want it and not knowing anything about its father.

Besides which, I knew that Jack would have wanted me to keep it.

Thinking back, I always seemed to know what Jack would have wanted. Although we only had those precious few days together, I knew exactly what Jack liked, thought, and wanted. I was convinced I knew him better than his own mother. What I really didn't know, I think my imagination made up for me.

The meeting was arranged by some other priest friend of Father Macintyre. It seemed to me there was a whole network of priests out there, fixing up everyone's troubles. I took a deep breath, as I knew that no matter what, I had to marry this Calvert man to keep the baby. I might be married to him, but as far as I was concerned, I would always be Jack's.

The moment came and I was horrified to see that Andrew Calvert looked old. I didn't notice that he was tall and strong, almost handsome. I just saw the black hair flecked with gray and the lines on his face. He looked old enough to be my father.

I can't remember what he said. Introductions were made and my stomach flipped over so much I thought I was going to be sick. He seemed polite enough, but he was so much older than I was.

I found out he was thirty-nine and had five children. Thirty-nine! My mother didn't bat an eyelid, even though he was close to her age. He had five children! I was supposed to marry this old man and be a mother to his five children as well as my own!

I didn't hear a word that was said. I was engrossed in the sick feeling in my stomach and the screaming in my ears that was coming from somewhere in my head. I wanted to run out the door, keep running as far as I could. But a voice inside me tried to reason with me. If I wanted to keep the baby, I had to marry this man and be a surrogate mother to his brood. Maybe I could marry him, save up enough money, and run away with the baby? Suddenly, a plan was forming in my mind. Maybe I could save up a little of the housekeeping money or dress money. I could ask for dress money and save it up.

I looked at Andrew Calvert out of the corner of my eye. He was chatting away to Mother, quite relaxed. He had a slight tan, as though he spent some time outdoors, and was well presented in a smart suit. His hair was groomed neatly, as was his mustache, and his eyes were soft and blue. He certainly wasn't as repulsive as Matthew Moore.

"So, Miss DeWitt Bukater, may I ask what your interests are?" He directed a question to me.

"Art, Mr. Calvert. Paintings mostly. And music."

"Well, there is a gallery not too far away. I am sure we could arrange an outing at some point."

"How old are the children?" I asked nervously.

"Rose!" Mother snapped. "Do you not listen?"

"It's all right." He smiled. "I guess it is a lot to take in at once. There is Andrew Junior, he is fourteen, there is Richard, he is twelve, Ben is ten, Sarah is six, and Louisa five."

My mind rolled as I tried to take this in. At eighteen I would be mother to six children, one not much younger than me. The prospect was terrifying.

The rest of the meeting seemed to flash by. I learned that he owned a paper mill and Mother was quizzing him about his financial aspects. He took all these questions in his stride.

I was quite numb. It was almost as if I was the observer, not the party about to marry.

And so it was agreed that the wedding would take place that very Friday, here in the church. Father Macintyre's friend, Father Riley, who was the priest of Mr. Calvert and family, was to do the ceremony. A small, simple affair. No bridal gown of French satin and a train for me this time. No bridesmaids or pomp and ceremony. Just a wedding, and then I would return with Andrew Calvert, my new husband, to his house. It was simple, official, and almost clinical. Certainly a marriage of convenience. But it served its purpose. He got a housekeeper and a governess; I got to keep Jack's baby.


	4. The Wedding 4

Chapter Four

We returned home that afternoon, to enable me to pack, organize a dress, and get my head round my impending wedding. In one way it seemed like a dream, in another it was an awful nightmare. I still missed Jack terribly and I can't believe now how I so willingly went along with things, quietly and without fuss. I suppose I was still in shock and the only thing I cared about was keeping the baby, no matter what the price. After all, I wasn't marrying Cal.

Mother was fussing, panicking, and bullying over my packing. I wanted a few of my clothes, Mother insisted I have jewelry, shoes, hats, and accessories. In fact, the majority of my things.

"I don't want you to go with nothing," she explained, which seemed strange, as she had rid herself of the problem.

For a wedding dress, we chose a simple cream lace dress with a flattering empire waist, not that there was anything to see. Cream, as I was not allowed to wear white. I was reminded constantly of that. Mother chose the dress, really. I just went along with it.

Thursday we left quietly. We were staying in a hotel overnight, which I later learned had been paid for by Andrew Calvert. Mother had no intention of paying for anything at all. Dinner that evening went on his bill. He also paid for the flowers, a simple corsage for Mother and a small, discreet bouquet for me that were delivered to our room on Friday morning. Mother fixed my hair herself to avoid paying for a dresser.

I don't really remember what I felt that morning. I don't remember being scared though, like I would have if it were Cal I was marrying. In my mind, I thought of Jack. How I wanted Jack to appear at the door of the church and save us, to claim me for his bride and his child as his own. But as we walked the short distance to the church, I knew it wasn't going to happen. The best I could hope for was that Andrew Calvert would be good to me until the day came when I had enough savings to leave.

He arrived at eleven AM prompt, in a smart black suit and matching buttonhole. He looked nervous, too, but smiled and asked if I was all right. He also asked me, in a low voice if I was sure I wanted to do this. I numbly replied yes, and thought of the money hidden in my drawer.

We went and stood before Father Riley, a sad, small ensemble of Mother, Father Macintyre, Andrew and myself, and two ladies who cleaned the church and arranged flowers who could not resist watching a wedding. Watch a strange sight we must have made.

Our vows were made and that was it. I was Mrs. Andrew Calvert.

Mother and Father Macintyre congratulated us, and then Mother asked that she might have a few moments with me alone.

We went to a room at the side. I remember she dabbed her red eyes with a delicate handkerchief and took a moment to compose herself. I looked at the small, shiny gold band on my finger.

"Well, Rose, this is it. You are married now." She sniffed again. "I am just glad your father wasn't alive to see this. It would have broken his heart. But I have done the best I could for you; I have got a ring on your finger and a name for the baby. I can do no more. I just hope he realized what a prominent family he has married into. In any other circumstances…oh, it doesn't matter, Rose."

What did she want me to say? I played with the ring on my finger. It was a little too big.

"I hope you can make Andrew happy and that all goes well for you both." She sniffed again.

"You'll see me in a few weeks surely?" I asked. But she shook her head.

"I have to go and face the gossips and make up some story about you having a whirlwind romance. You cannot come back to Philadelphia showing your condition, or with a baby. I have told Andrew that he must not let you visit."

"But Mother!" I protested.

She put up her hand. "You do not need me any more. You have a new family."

I had heard enough. "Thank you, Mother," I mumbled and went back to join my husband.

We all went to the hotel to collect our luggage. Mother was leaving on a later train. Andrew loaded my things into the car and we set off for my new home. For the first time, I was alone with a complete stranger who was my husband.


	5. The Wedding 5

Chapter Five

It always amazes me that, with the passing of time, some things remain in your mind with absolute clarity, while other things fade away.

I was surprised to discover that Andrew was not the ogre I had expected. He was quite cultured and interesting to talk to. He took me the art gallery and listened to my views, more than Cal had ever done. The children were very polite and well-mannered, although a little shocked to see me at first. They had no idea Andrew was going to come home with a new wife. They were quite sweet, apart from Andrew Junior. He made it clear from the start that he did accept me as a mother, only ever addressing me as Rose. He was always rude and awkward when his father wasn't around.

The house was large and on the better side of town. Mother would have been pleased. Although not as lavish as the house Cal had planned, it was substantial, and Andrew had a housekeeper, laundry maid, and gardener, so I didn't have to do anything myself.

I threw myself into the role totally. After all, this was what finishing school was about. I also knew if I understood the household books and the housekeeping, I might be able to put some of the money away. It was much later, from doing this, that I discovered the church had received a considerable donation for helping Andrew find a wife, and also that my mother received an allowance.

Andrew seemed a reasonable man. He was a good father and tried to spend time with all the children, although Andrew Junior demanded a lot of his time. Andrew Junior was keen to learn about the paper mill business and was quite intelligent. His father was strict, and on occasion displayed a fierce temper, but largely he was fair and kind.

Only once did he ask about the baby's father.

"Rose, I have never spoken to you about this before. But I must ask. Does the baby's father know about your condition?"

I looked away.

"No, he does not."

"Did you not wish to tell him, or could you not tell him?"

"Why do you wish to know?" I asked quietly, shaking inwardly. Every day I thought of Jack and how, oh how, I wished he was still here.

"Because I understand you were engaged to a Mr. Hockley. I don't want the child's father turning up on the doorstep in a few years time."

"That will not happen, and this has nothing to do with Caledon Hockley."

Andrew accepted this and never mentioned it again. I knew then that Mother had kept some of the details of my pregnancy to herself. Whether it was through shame, or for my protection, I never knew.

As we all got used to each other and I settled in, I would go out with the children. I made a few friends, mostly mothers of the children's friends. I soon forgot about the age difference and we were accepted as a couple. We even held the occasional dinner party, which helped me to fit in. Andrew and I agreed on a story of how we met if anyone were to ask, but no one did. I wondered if perhaps they knew and did not mention it, for it was a close community. They were, on the whole, really nice people. I wasn't lonely or unhappy. I just got on with things. Life has to go on.

Life also went on within me, and our first Christmas together was spent with me waddling around, feeling as big as a house. The smaller children were delighted when they were told a baby was on the way. But Andrew Junior just stared at me, and I wondered if he had made the connection about the dates. He was only fourteen, but seemed to know more than his years belied.

The baby made his appearance at the end of January. It was a relatively straightforward birth, and I lay propped up on pillows, watching Andrew cradle the new baby. I searched his face for signs of disdain or rejection, but he smiled and held the baby as if it were his own. I watched as he counted his fingers and toes, imagining that it was Jack admiring his child like an adoring father. I felt strange, like this was a private moment for Jack and I, and here was this man claiming this baby as his. But I knew that was the deal, and when Andrew declared the boy was to be named John Robert, I had to accept that, too.

He was a beautiful baby, blue-eyed and blonde-haired, the image of his father. But there was no one to say this, as people do when you have had a child. For only I knew Jack. As all the other children were dark, he quite stood out, but the girls declared he looked like an angel. I used to watch Andrew Junior watching John Robert, and I wondered if the blonde hair gave it away. But he said nothing.

Mother was informed about her new grandson, and I asked her to come and visit. She replied that as the weather was so bad at the moment, she didn't want to make the journey. By summer she still hadn't visited.

I was so busy, with a new baby and five children demanding my time. Well, four children. Andrew Junior asked for nothing from me, although I tried to ignore this and offered to help him as much as the others. There seemed an endless list of things to do, and with school projects and plays, time flew.

April was a very difficult time. Andrew knew we had been on the ship and put my sorrow down to the memory of the disaster. He did not know I held John Robert out to the stars that night, to show Jack his child. Jack was always there. Whenever I looked at John Robert, I saw Jack. But as time went on, the pain did subside a little. Soon it was our first wedding anniversary, and I realized I only had put three dollars in the drawer.


	6. The Wedding 6

Chapter Six

What happened to the girl who wanted to ride horses in the surf like a man and head out for the horizon? She wouldn't have recognized me now.

Some days I didn't recognize myself. Appearances were not important to Andrew, and I was often to be found with apron on and hair in braids, covered in paint and on the floor with the children, or romping round the garden or stream looking for frogs. Away from the starched dresses, corsets, and hairdressing. It was almost like an act of defiance against Cal and Mother. I knew this was what Jack would have liked to have seen me doing. Having fun.

And having fun is what I was doing. The younger children were so vibrant, so energetic. We walked and had picnics. This was a fine environment for my John Robert. Adoring sisters and brothers. But as I watched the blond head amongst the dark ones, I was reminded all the time of the man I had lost.

I did not feel the hard, bitter sting of grief as much now. Jack was gone and I had John Robert. Andrew left me much to myself and I was so thankful of the way things turned out. I didn't want to run away anymore. I started to feel like I was in a family. I hoped Jack saw all of this and understood what I was doing and why. Ultimately, it was for the benefit of his son. He was never Andrew's. I always thought of him as mine.

By my twenty-first birthday I was pregnant again and we were blessed with a daughter. This time I chose her name, Eleanor. She was more red than blonde and marked my two children clearly from the rest. The children had grown and were beginning to blossom into young people. The only thorn in my side was Andrew Junior. He seemed to go out of his way to annoy me and always had his father on his side. Andrew seemed oblivious to anything Andrew Junior did. He was eighteen now and studying business, his head full of all kinds of nonsense.

It was after my birthday, whilst changing Ellie, that he came right out with whatever he had mulled over for years and asked me why I had married his father. It couldn't have been for love, he said.

"Ask your father," I replied, without giving him eye contact.

"You are only a few years older than me! What on earth did you see in him?"

I carried on, trying to ignore him.

"I can see what he saw in you," he carried on.

Flushed with anger and nervousness at his bold comment, I spun round.

"Andrew, I am your stepmother and you will speak to me with respect. I will ignore that last comment and I will not inform your father of this conversation this time. Your father and I are in love and we have two children to prove it. What on earth is your problem?"

He just smiled and replied, "I can do my math, Rose," and walked away.

I was glad when Andrew Junior went back to college and out of the house. The atmosphere lifted, but Andrew never seemed to notice or remark on it.

And so the next couple of years passed, with their ups and downs, as any other family had.

But ours was not a normal family, and a visit out of the blue changed things again for me.


	7. The Visitor 1

Chapter Seven

It was a lovely summer day, the sun shining warmly but not hot, the lawn green and the flowers in full bloom. From my seat in the garden, I could hear the children playing, laughing as they ran about.

I stretched lazily, getting up to watch them. The neighbors had warned me that they had seen a strange man hanging around, which was unusual in that small, close-knit community, but I wasn't terribly worried. We hadn't seen him at all, and there had been no reports of break-ins and such.

I walked out from the shady, secluded spot where I had been sitting, watching John Robert chase a squealing Ellie across the lawn. Sarah and Louisa sat in the shade of a large oak tree, watching the childish antics with disdain.

It was then that I saw him. He was standing near the gate, watching the children and me with interest. From this distance, I couldn't see who he was, but he had overlong blonde hair and a slightly scruffy appearance.

He reminded me all too well of someone I had once known. Angry and yet curious, I marched over to the gate, intent on finding out who he was and what he wanted. It was then that I got an even bigger shock.

It had been over six years since I had seen him, but the face was unmistakable. Jack Dawson stood before me, his eyes taking in the whole scene.

My step faltered as I neared the gate. "Jack?" I whispered, not quite believing it. I had thought him dead all this time; it seemed impossible that he stood before me now, alive and well.

"Rose?" He smiled. "I knew it was you!"

I didn't know what to say or do. A few years earlier, I would have thrown myself into his arms, rejoicing in the seeming miracle of his being alive. But things were different now. I was married, and a mother. Seeing Jack was the last thing I had ever expected.

"Jack…my God…what are you doing here? I thought you were dead."

"I thought the same thing of you." He pushed back his hair nervously. "When I found out you were alive, I came to see you."

"Jack…I…"

"I know. You're married now. Rose Calvert." He paused, looking at me. "I just came to be sure you were okay. You jump, I jump, remember? I can see that you are, though. You look…content."

"I am, for the most part."

He nodded. "I had to be sure before I went back to Chippewa Falls. That's all I wanted." He turned to go.

"Jack…wait."

He turned back, looking at me questioningly.

"Jack…I…about my marriage…I had to get married. I was expecting a baby…your son."

His expression changed, becoming both surprised and pleased. "I have a son?"

"Yes…his name is John Robert Calvert. He's five years old now."

"Can I see him?"

I froze, suddenly realizing the consequences of Jack knowing about his son. Would he want me to come away with him? Would he want to take him from me? Once, I would have gladly gone anywhere with Jack, but things were different now. I was married…and I was happy. No matter how much I loved Jack, I couldn't jeopardize that.

I shook my head. "No, Jack. It…it isn't a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because he doesn't know about you. He thinks that Andrew is his father."

"Andrew? Is that your husband's name?"

I nodded. "Yes. And as far as everyone we know is concerned, John Robert is Andrew's son. I can't tell anyone otherwise…not now."

"Rose, I just want to meet him…"

"No! I can't let him know about you. It's too late. Andrew and I have been married for six years, almost since I found out that I was going to have a baby. He is John Robert's father, the one who has been there all of his life. I can't let you come in and change that. It just wouldn't work."

He seemed to be about to say more, but something in my face stopped him. Finally, he nodded, stepping away from the gate.

"If that's what you want, Rose." He turned away, then looked at me one more time. "I'm going back to Chippewa Falls now. Be happy, Rose."

I almost changed my mind, almost called out to him to stay. But I couldn't. Our lives had taken separate paths, and there was no going back.

I turned back towards the garden, where the children's voices still rang out. I knew that I had made the right decision, no matter how much it hurt. I would continue my life here, and Andrew would never know that John Robert's father had been here and knew about him.

I froze when I saw Andrew Junior up the path. He stared at me for a moment, gave me a knowing smile, and walked away, leaving me to wonder just how much he had seen and heard.


	8. The Visitor 2

Chapter Eight

Over the following months, I noticed that Andrew's attitude towards me had changed considerably. Where he had once been loving and affectionate—even a marriage of convenience can become one of love, if the circumstances are right—he had grown cool and distant. Somehow, I knew that Jack's visit was to blame, and wondered just what Andrew Junior had told him. It was the only way he could have known, for there were no other witnesses, and I had never said a word. Still, Andrew never mentioned the visit to me, making me wonder if perhaps something else was wrong. But whatever it was, he wasn't telling me, and neither was anyone else.

Still, we kept the marriage together. Divorce or annulment was never spoken of, and sometimes I wondered if he was truly angry with me. There were times when he appeared to be in pain, growing very pale and sweating heavily, making me wonder if he was ill. When I expressed concern, however, he was always abrupt with me, saying that nothing was wrong, and that I shouldn't fuss over him. He was always contrite later, apologizing for his abruptness and telling me that there was nothing to be concerned about, that he was simply tired and needed to rest. Since he sometimes worked very long hours, this made sense to my naïve mind. I even wondered if his coolness and distance might be because of that very reason.

It wasn't until a year after the incident with Jack that I learned how very wrong I had been.

The telephone rang while I was sitting in the kitchen, going over the household accounts. Andrew Junior was at the paper mill alongside his father, and the rest of the children were outside playing. Feeling an unexplainable surge of trepidation, I answered it.

"Calvert residence."

"May I speak to Rose Calvert, please?" The official-sounding voice made me even more uneasy.

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Calvert, this is Dr. Byrd, your husband's physician."

"Yes?"

"Mrs. Calvert, I regret to inform you that your husband was brought to the hospital early this morning after suffering a major heart attack."

I almost dropped the receiver. Steeling myself, I asked, "Will he be all right?"

"It's highly doubtful, Mrs. Calvert. I would suggest that you come to the hospital at once. Andrew Calvert, Jr. is already here."

The receiver slipped from my nerveless fingers, dangling against the wall. Ignoring it, I rushed outside.

In minutes, I had rounded up the children and pushed them into the car. Grateful that Andrew had allowed me to learn to drive, I headed in the direction of the hospital.

Andrew Junior was in the lobby when I arrived. Oblivious to him and to the stares of other people, I rushed to the admissions desk, Ellie in my arms and the rest of the children following close behind.

Trying to calm myself, I spoke to the nurse. "I received a phone call a short time ago, telling me that my husband, Andrew Calvert, was brought here after suffering a heart attack."

She nodded, much more calmly than I thought appropriate. "Yes, he was."

"May I see him?"

"I'll have to ask his doctor if he can have visitors."

I was ready to demand that I be allowed to see him, since I was his wife, but at that moment Dr. Byrd walked into the lobby. I had never seen him before, but when he walked over to Andrew Junior and spoke to him in a low voice, I knew who he was.

"Dr. Byrd?" I interrupted his conversation with Andrew Junior, who gave me a strangely smug look, as though he knew something I didn't. Ignoring him, I asked, "How is Andrew doing? Can I see him?"

"Mrs. Calvert…" He pulled me aside, motioning the children back. I set Ellie down beside her sisters and followed him.

"What is it?" I asked, trepidation building within me.

"Mrs. Calvert, I doubt that he'll live more than another hour, if that. If you want to see him, I suggest that you do so at once. You will need to leave the children here, however."

"Why?" My voice was beginning to rise in panic. "Why can't they see their father?"

"It might prove to be too much of a strain for him. Besides, there are some things that children shouldn't see."

Suppressing my rising dread, I nodded. "Which room is he in?"

"I'll take you there myself."

Andrew was in a private room, shielded from the eyes of other patients. He lay on a sterile white bed, covered by a sheet and blanket in spite of the summer heat.

My heart constricted with dread when I saw him. He had never looked so pale before, or so weak. I knew then that Dr. Byrd was right—Andrew was going to die.

There was a chair in a corner of the room. Pulling it over to his bedside, I took his hands, praying that I wasn't too late. "Andrew?" I whispered.

He opened his eyes and tried to lift his head when he saw me there, but it was too much of an effort. Finally, he spoke, his voice weak and hardly more than a whisper.

"I wasn't sure you'd come."

"Oh, Andrew, of course I had to come. You're my husband."

"I wasn't sure what you'd do. I thought that you might just be waiting for me to be gone, so that you could go to that fellow who came by the house last summer."

"Last summer? You did know, then."

"Yes." He rested for a moment, garnering the strength to go on. "Andrew Junior told me."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I…didn't want to know what you actually felt, whether you wanted to leave and go with him. He was John Robert's father?"

"Yes." I nodded my head, feeling tears well up. Andrew Junior had obviously not told him that I had sent Jack away. "He was. I had thought that he was…dead, and so I had never told him about…our son. He wanted to meet him, but I…I told him that he couldn't. It would have been too confusing. John Robert had never known any father but you, and to introduce him to the stranger who really was his father…it would have been too confusing. He was only five years old, after all. And I was afraid—afraid that his father would want to take him from me. I couldn't bear the thought of losing him. And so I sent Jack away."

"Jack?"

I paused, only then realizing that I had revealed the name of John Robert's father. I had never told anyone before. Only Mother, Cal, and later Jack himself had known the truth. "Yes." I took a deep breath and went on. "He left then, and I have never heard from him since. He said that he was going back to his hometown. Andrew, I…couldn't have gone with him. No matter what your reasons and mine were for marrying in the first place, I am your wife. I made my vows to you, not him, and I would never betray you."

Andrew looked at me, his eyes filled with sorrow. "Rose…I'm sorry I doubted you. Now…it's too late to change anything."

I opened my mouth to ask what he meant, but he went on. "I'm sorry I kept my illness from you, Rose. I should have told you."

I shook my head. "I should have realized that it was more than just tiredness, but you sounded so convincing…"

"I didn't want to give you an excuse to leave." His eyes fell closed as he struggled to take another breath. "Rose, I love…"

His voice trailed off. I sat still, waiting for him to finish his statement, and at last realized that his struggle was over, and he would never speak again.

Tears running down my face, I pulled the sheet over his head, then sat beside him a moment longer. I hadn't wanted this marriage in the first place, but now that he was gone, I realized how much he had come to mean to me.

Slowly, I formed the words that I had never been able to say before.

"I love you, too, Andrew Calvert."


	9. The Visitor 3

Chapter Nine

It was several days before the mystery of Andrew's words was solved. Not long after the funeral, we gathered in the parlor while the will was read. Andrew Junior—now known only as Andrew—had a properly mournful look on his face, but I sensed something else going on beneath the surface of that calm exterior, something that did not bode well for me or my children.

The other children's grief was genuine, although Ellie sat in confusion in my lap, not quite understanding what had happened, or why everyone was so sorrowful. John Robert also clung to me, his eyes wide and sad.

The lawyer looked genuinely distressed as he opened the will, glancing nervously at me from time to time. I wasn't sure what those looks meant until he read the will.

Andrew's mournful look disappeared and a pleased smirk grew on his face as the will was read, while my heart sank. My husband had left everything to his eldest son, leaving the house in my care until he married.

When the lawyer had left, Andrew's smirk grew into an unpleasant smile. "Well, Rose," he began. "It looks like my father wasn't the fool you took him for."

"No," I responded coolly, refusing to show him how distressed I was. "He wasn't a fool at all."

He looked slightly disconcerted at this, as though he had expected me to argue with him, perhaps even contest the will. He quickly recovered, however, and went on.

"I think that now is a good time to tell all of you that I have proposed to my girlfriend, Mary Ellen, and she has accepted. The wedding is next month."

The children clamored around him, pleased and excited by the news. All of them were fond of Mary Ellen, a pretty, friendly girl from a well-to-do family in town. I had liked her, too, until now, although I highly doubted that she knew anything of the conflict between her fiancé and me.

Setting Ellie down, I told myself to remain calm. Simply because Andrew was marrying did not mean that there would be no place for me or my children. Surely he did not mean to separate his brothers and sisters, or to send away the woman that all of them called mother.

His next words, however, dashed my hopes. "Your stepmother has already informed that she will be leaving after the wedding, taking John Robert and Ellie with her."

Everyone turned to stare at me in shock. Angry, I opened my mouth to defend myself, but Andrew went on before I could say a word.

"I must say that I don't understand why she is doing this, but perhaps the will was not to her liking."

"Why should the will matter?" Louisa asked, her twelve-year-old mind not comprehending the meaning of her brother's words.

"Why do you think?" Richard asked her, eyeing me in disgust. He, too, had had some difficulty accepting me when I first came, but had later come to accept me whole-heartedly. I could tell by his expression that he felt betrayed, and that he believed his brother above anything I might say to defend myself.

"As you all know, Mary Ellen is only eighteen, much too young to run a household full of children close in age to herself. Therefore, in light of your stepmother's news, Richard will be transferring to a university in New York, and Ben, Sarah, and Louisa will be enrolled in boarding school."

At this, there was a cry of protest from the children. "Boarding school!" Sarah cried. "Father promised that we would never be sent away from home. He promised that when Mama died."

Andrew shook his head, giving them a sad look that didn't fool me for a minute. "I'm sure that he meant that, too. But things are different now. Father is gone, and your stepmother is leaving. Mary Ellen is too young to take charge of all of you. I wish that things were different, but they aren't."

I could feel the older children pulling away from me, expressions of hurt and betrayal on their faces. They believed what their brother implied—that I had married their father for his money, and now that he was gone I had no interest in them. It was a terrible blow, coming so soon after their father's death, and nothing I could say would make things better.


	10. The Visitor 4

Chapter Ten

All too soon, it was time for John Robert, Ellie, and I to leave. I didn't know where we could go, or what we could do. I had very little money of my own—only the twenty dollars that I had put away during the years of my marriage. Somehow, it just hadn't seemed important to keep putting money away as I had originally planned, for I had grown content in my marriage to Andrew. Now, however, I wished that I had saved more.

I had never worked for a living in my life, and wasn't even sure how to go about looking for a job. I had no real skills, but I had to do something. There was no one to provide for my children and me any longer, and twenty dollars wouldn't go far.

Where could I go? Back to my mother? I hadn't heard from her in years, not since John Robert was a baby. I wasn't even sure of where she was anymore, and I doubted she would want to see me. She had made it perfectly clear that I was a disgrace, and that she wanted no part of me, or of the grandson I had given her. Now there were two children, one of them legitimate, but I didn't think she would want to see either them or me.

I was surprised when young Andrew himself solved the problem. On the day of his wedding to Mary Ellen, he presented me with a check for one thousand dollars—enough for us to travel somewhere else, where no one knew us, and to live on for a little while, while I figured out how to make a living.

He smiled coldly at me when he presented me with the check. Looking me over rudely, he told me, "I don't want you to walk away empty-handed. After all, you went to so much trouble."

I was tempted the rip the check up and throw it back in his face, but common sense held me back. A thousand dollars would take my children and me a long way.

"I don't expect you to understand what I had with your father," I told him, my voice as cold as his. "I can already see that explaining will do no good. I can only hope that you treat Mary Ellen with more respect than you have treated your own family."

He flushed a little at that, knowing that I was referring to his plan to send his brothers and sisters away to school. They still believed that it was my fault that they were being sent away, but I was glad to see that their eldest brother felt at least some shame at how he was treating them.

The moment passed, though, and he smirked at me, knowing that he had destroyed the trust that his siblings had held in me, and knowing, too, how much that hurt me. I didn't understand why he wanted to hurt me—I had never done anything to him. Perhaps it was the fact that I had become his stepmother when I was only a few years older than him, or perhaps he resented me for trying to take his real mother's place. Whatever the reason, he had always resented me, and nothing I had ever done or said had changed things.

He walked away then, leaving me holding the check. I sank into a chair. I had money now, but I still had no idea of where I was going to go, or what I was going to do.

We left the next morning. I had been up all night, trying to decide where to go. I couldn't go back to Mother, and I didn't know of anyone else who might take us in.

Then, at last, I had thought of Jack. It amazed me that I hadn't thought of him before, but he hadn't been a part of my life in a long time, even with his visit last year. He had told me that he was going back to Chippewa Falls, so I would go there, too, and try to explain things to him.

Would he be happy to see me? I wondered. Would that spark still be there? He had wanted to see his son the year before; surely he would welcome John Robert, if not me or Ellie.

As we stepped onto the train, I reassured myself. I had never stopped loving Jack, and deep inside I knew that he had loved me, even though he had never said it. He had sought me out six years after the Titanic sank, wanting to be sure I was all right.

I had sent him away then, but now Andrew was gone, and I was a widow. We could start over, make the life that I had wanted for us before the Titanic sank.

It was time to start over.


	11. The Visitor 5

Chapter Eleven

I looked out the window as the train made its way toward Chippewa Falls, John Robert and Ellie beside me. We had been on the train for two days, and the children were getting restless, eager to be wherever we were going.

I knew that we would be there soon, and was growing more and more nervous. What would Jack say when he saw me? Would he be glad to see me? Would he be angry? What if he wasn't in Chippewa Falls anymore?

There was only one way to find out. When the train at last pulled into the station in Chippewa Falls, I gathered our bags and led the children from the train, John Robert holding Ellie's hand. When we were standing on the crowded platform, I looked around, wondering where to go next. I knew no one in town but Jack, and nothing was familiar to me.

Finally, I led the children away from the platform to a nearby general store. Surely someone there would know where I might find Jack, or if not him, at least a place to stay.

The man who owned the store looked at me a little oddly when I asked about Jack. Of course, it was unusual for a young woman with children in tow to come into town looking for someone, but he told me where to find him anyway.

"Go to the western edge of town, ma'am. He lives at 105 Willow Street."

I thanked him and picked up the bags again, John Robert and Ellie trailing slowly behind me, and started across town.

The baby giggled, her tiny feet kicking at the air, as her father tickled the end of her nose. He laughed, too, catching one foot and pumping it up and down.

"Jack."

Jack looked up as his wife of one year came into the room, draping her apron over a chair. "What's going on, love?"

"We have guests."

He stood up, surprised. No one was expected.

"Who is it?"

"I don't know. Some lady with two children."

Jack looked from his wife to his daughter, a sudden sinking feeling going through him as he realized who the visitor must be.

I took a deep breath as I opened the gate and walked toward the house, instructing the children to stay at the gate until I called for them.

I looked around as I walked, noticing how well-kept the yard was. Jack had done well for himself. I was about to step up on the porch and knock when Jack opened the door and stepped outside.

"Rose!"

I moved toward him, smiling, until I realized that someone else had stepped out with him. A beautiful, dark-haired woman with a blonde-haired baby in her arms stood beside him, looking at me suspiciously.

He glanced back at her briefly. "Go on in, love. I'll…take care of things."

Glancing at me again, the woman went back inside, but soon appeared at the window, the baby still cradled in her arms. I looked at Jack.

"You're married."

He nodded. "Yes."

I could hardly speak past the lump that had suddenly risen in my throat. "Congratulations."

"Thank you. Rose, I…"

"Good-bye, Jack." I stepped away, turning back toward my children. "Be happy."

"Rose, wait!"

He took a few steps after me, but I didn't stop. Escorting my children out the gate, I looked back one more time.

His face was a mask of sorrow and indecision, but I knew what to do now. Turning away, I took the children by the hands and walked away.

"Rose! Rose, wait!"

But I just kept walking, never looking back.

The End.


End file.
